I know he has issues. So why does chalking it up to experience still hurt so much?
He just told me to f*ck off. No man talks to me that way. I have been single for ten years and fine with it. Then this seemingly great guy crosses my path so I take a risk. How was I to know he was crazy? He was all into me for weeks, calling me beautiful (I am not) and saying he misses me (he lives far away). Then one day he texts and says he cant handle it, he wants me to lose his number. He doesn’t want to talk to me anymore. I waited ten years for THAT?
My entire life men have told me that I am not good enough. This one pretended to be into me for a few weeks and then told me he wasn’t. I should have seen this coming. I try to be nice to everyone. I have been through hard things. But so many people just hate me.
I teach high school. My students hate me. I have to go back in eleven days. Trying to be positive but I just want to weep on the kitchen floor. I have tried to find other jobs. Still working on that but I need something to cover my bills.
My students are just mean. I’m not the only one they’re mean to. There is such disrespect for the female teachers in our building. Plus I am a special ed teacher. I have a masters degree and technically a genius IQ but because I am a special ed teacher the kids think of me as an aide, so I get even less respect. I work so hard. I teach math classes to the regular and special ed kids. I try to make it interesting. I try to make Algerbra easy to understand. But if I tell them to put their cell phones away or get their work done they get so nasty. It’s like I’m assaulted every day. The parents are just as bad. I will never have children. And I will certainly never get married. I am so tired of being abused. Two of my coworkers have been sexually harassed by students. It’s a matter of time before one of us gets grabbed. I hope it’s me because I will break that kid’s hand and it will feel damn good to do it.
I have the gene for breast cancer. BRCA2. Up to 87% chance of cancer at some point.